A satisfying sex life is a relationship issue, a self-esteem issue, and most importantly a quality of life issue.
But most of us don’t like to talk about one of the main obstacles to a healthy sex life: a lack of control during sex otherwise known as premature ejaculation (PE). It is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, but not many have sought treatment or will even admit to having a problem.
PE is so common that up to 1 in 3 men are affected by it. And it’s just as common with men in their 50s, 30s, or 20s.
If you suspect you may have PE and you’re feeling frustrated, you’re not alone. In fact, 89% of men and 81% of women affected by PE say it impacts their relationship negatively.
So, what should you do?
The good news is that help is available. So don’t be afraid to act. Sitting at home worrying about it will do nothing to help the situation.
First, do your homework. Do some of your own research – you will find useful information from www.controlPE.com and other reputable sites. You can also do a self-diagnosis with the Premature Ejaculation Diagnostic Tool to confirm if you have PE or not.
Second is communication. The most important thing that you can do is to speak openly with your partner. Remember that premature ejaculation is a common issue that can affect your relationship not just you, and the two of you can solve the problem together.
Then, speak to your doctor. Don’t suffer in silence. Your doctor will have dealt with the problem before, so don’t feel embarrassed.
Still not ready to take that big step and speak to your doctor? Try these pointers:
- Take some time to think about what you want to talk about. Having a clear agenda will make it easier to get started on solving the problem in the short time that you may have in the clinic. Think about what happens during sex (e.g. how quickly you ejaculate, whether you feel like you are in control, the negative feelings you might be having) as well as what effect PE has on your life.
- Take notes with you to the appointment. This will help you to remember all the issues that are worrying you. If you feel nervous, stressed or embarrassed, it’s sometimes easy to forget a question that you wanted to discuss or forget the words you wanted to use.
- The best approach is to just tell your doctor right at the start of the appointment that you have a sexual issue you’d like to discuss and be honest. For example, you could say: “Doctor, I’d like to discuss my sexual health with you” or “I’ve been hearing a lot about premature ejaculation recently and I’d like to talk to you about it.”
Once you’ve raised the issues of PE, the most difficult part is over. What should follow is an open discussion about your experience, how you feel and what you will need in order to overcome your concerns. The doctor will probably ask you a series of questions about your sexual life, your general health and some specific questions that might not even seem related to PE.
Be honest with your responses, so that your doctor has all of the information needed to help you.
Remember: PE is a medical condition that can be managed effectively. It affects a lot of men from all over the world.
If your doctor has diagnosed you with PE, then the next step will be to discuss solutions. There are a number that are available, and your doctor is best placed to work with you to suggest an appropriate approach to fit with your lifestyle and situation. Medical improvements and newly approved drugs mean that men no longer have to suffer in silence and can regain their quality of life – both for themselves and their partners.
There are some treatments for PE advertised on the Internet or elsewhere; however this may not be approved for PE and it is impossible to know what you will receive when you buy drugs online. Always speak to your doctor and your pharmacist and make sure you get effective, approved treatment for PE and proper monitoring.
Take that first step and regain control. You owe it to yourself!