Celia was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Tall and statuesque, with almond-shaped eyes that smiled and long black hair flowing over her shoulders. Celia drove me mad with desire just by the sight of her. The fact that she was so funny and kind made me want her more. I realized I was the luckiest guy in the world when she returned my affection.
We fell in love and I was simply on cloud nine. But once the relationship became physical, there was trouble. I lacked control in the bedroom. When the moment turned passionate, I couldn’t satisfy her. Just as things got started, I got over-excited, and the whole thing was over too soon. Though Celia never said anything I could see it in her eyes that she was disappointed.
Celia and I never talked about our problems in the bedroom. And I was too embarrassed to bring it up to my friends. I turned to google for help of course and at first I thought it was pretty simple to regain control. I tried everything – like holding your breath during sex. Or taking your mind off the building climax by thinking of your worst enemy, or mentally going over the work that was waiting for me on my desk.
Those tricks didn’t work. Holding my breath and taking my mind off the beauty of the moment meant I wasn’t really there. I was somewhere else, mentally and emotionally. It meant I was always disconnected from intimate moments with the woman I love.
Every time Celia and I had sex, the experience just led to disappointment, and Celia became increasingly reluctant to even try. Our intimate time together was becoming less frequent, and the problems started spilling over to our relationship. There was so much tension that even deciding where to go for dinner would escalate into a massive fight.
Finally, she broke it to me. She wasn’t sure if this was working out. She said we had grown apart.
She told me fatefully: “Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. It isn’t the relationship, but it’s the glue that keeps a couple together.”
We could still be friends, she said. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to keep Celia in my life.
That’s when I admitted to myself that I have a problem, and I needed to get some help. Reading about my problem, and hoping for the best, wasn’t going to be enough.
Premature ejaculation – or PE — doesn’t affect just you. It affects your partner. PE impacts the emotional wellbeing and overall quality of life of both men and their partners. Couples cannot maintain a healthy, loving relationship with PE in the way.
I did my research and I was shocked to learn that a lot of people suffer from PE. And like myself, most of them only turned to a doctor for help once they had reached a breaking point in their relationship.
I came across a survey that really opened my eyes. I was shocked to learn that up to one in three men are affected by this condition – more common than any other male sexual dysfunction. And PE was responsible for divorce in some cases.
The most common male sexual dysfunction AND a relationship breaker — this is serious stuff.
I learned that PE is not “all in the mind,” but is a real medical condition and that gave me the confidence to speak to a doctor. I was desperate, my bedroom performance started to affect not just my relationship but every aspect of my life. My self-confidence was waning and it was beginning to affect my work and social life. I would have done anything to get my life back.
My doctor was very patient and explained to me that all the anxieties I was experiencing were normal when suffering from PE. I was so relieved to learn that there was effective treatment. My doctor prescribed six doses of medication during consultation. I followed his advice carefully and after two doses, I saw an immediate improvement. And more importantly, so did Celia. I saw her warm up to me again and I couldn’t be happier! My only regret was that I didn’t get help earlier.
Communication is key. In my case, I told Celia that I didn’t want to lose her, and that I was seeking treatment. She understood my stress and anxiety, and took an interest in the growth journey I was undertaking.
Five months since getting diagnosed, I can say that I’ve gained control and that has led to an improvement in sexual intimacy and a healthier relationship. It was a relationship saver – my life with Celia is going strong and is better than ever.