Breaking the ice: How to encourage your man to talk about improving your sex life

Some women have accepted that they will never be fully satisfied in bed. After all as women, wanting to improve our sex lives might make us seem promiscuous right? Wrong. Sexual satisfaction is a crucial part of healthy, loving relationships and you shouldn’t be afraid to take steps to improve it.

The Asia-Pacific Sexual Behaviours and Satisfaction Survey, reveals more than half of couples are dissatisfied in the bedroom. Does that statistic resonate with you? That eye-opening fact tells us this is an issue that is ripe for discussion among many couples.

With nearly one in three men experiencing some form of premature ejaculation (PE), it’s no surprise that so many are unsatisfied in their relationships. More than 80 per cent of respondents who reported a premature ejaculation experience said it has a negative impact on their relationships.

If left unaddressed, PE can place a heavy burden on any relationship. So it’s important to be open about it, and be willing to talk about the most common problem facing men in the bedroom. So many couples face frustration with their sex lives, affecting them both on the personal and relationship levels.

Communication is key to any strong relationship, and sharing information from the survey is a good starting point to launch a needed discussion among many couples. After all, you really can’t deny the problem when you’ve got the facts to prove it.

Here are some conversation ice-breakers:

Quantity matters, so does quality. Three in four people in Asia-Pacific want to be more sexually active. Moreover, sexual satisfaction is similarly important with two in three respondents believing that mutual sexual satisfaction plays a very significant or extremely important role in a successful relationship. Ask your partner if he is sexually satisfied and if there is anything you can do to improve that. You can then discuss what you like in the bedroom and what you would like to improve.

The impact on couples. Couples’ sexual and relationship health are severely impacted by premature ejaculation. Among respondents who reported PE, 30 per cent of men and 40 per cent of women said that it causes them to avoid sex completely. Within relationships, 44 per cent of those couples said that PE caused them to grow apart from their partners. In the worst cases, 15 per cent of men and 14 per cent of women said that PE could lead to actual relationship breakdown or divorce. Have you or your partner been avoiding sex? Talk about it before it ends badly.

The importance of breaking the silence. Experts stress the importance of opening up to your partner. Despite issues with relationships and sexual satisfaction caused by PE, most men and women are not talking about it and the major barrier preventing them from doing so is the sense of embarrassment attached to this condition. The truth is 1 in 3 men suffer from it and with available treatment, we should be able to address the issues openly. The less taboo it is to discuss sexual dysfunction, the more empowered we will be to diagnose and treat it.

The need for better information. When it comes to doing something about premature ejaculation, close to 8 in 10 men who have experienced PE remain undiagnosed. Many listed a lack of understanding as the main barrier to seeing a doctor. Some mistakenly believe that PE is caused by stress, fatigue, lifestyle or inexperience, that it will resolve itself over time and that it does not need to be treated. Nearly half said that they had not taken action because of stigma, shame and embarrassment.

PE is not “all in the mind,” but it is a real medical condition. In the past, premature ejaculation was thought to be purely psychological. Now doctors understand that premature ejaculation has a biological explanation and is associated with biochemical signals in the brain that control ejaculation.

Start the conversation today so that treatment can begin earlier for greater success and satisfaction. The Premature Ejaculation Diagnositic Tool (PEDT) can give you an indication as to whether PE is an obstacle in your relationship, and whether a talk with your doctor is necessary. Seeking treatment is not as difficult as it may seem and is an important step to take if couples want to improve their sex life and strengthening their relationships.

A healthy relationship is all about communication. An open discussion among two loving people can go a long way toward making a stronger, more satisfying relationship.